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I had a Facebook conundrum. I’d have a quick minute to de-stress, so I’d click on the Facebook app, and start scrolling. But I was still pretty pressed for time, so I wouldn’t “like” or comment on this friend’s post or that cousin’s photo, but then I’d see something I really wanted to like or comment on, yet I didn’t want the first friend to be upset that I liked the second person’s post but not her post (as if anyone is paying such close attention to what I’m doing!) and the next thing I knew, I was more stressed than I was when I first logged on. There have been times I’ve solved this dilemma by just deleting the Facebook app, but that’s not a great long-term solution, because it is nice to see what friends and family are up to. Recently I decided to solve this problem another way, by creating a Facebook policy. My policy is simple: I only get on Facebook when I have time to engage. This policy has made life simpler. Several times in the last week or so, I’ve been about to click on the app but I stop myself, repeating, “I only get on Facebook when I have time to engage.” And then I move on with my day. The few times I do log onto Facebook, I’m more purposeful in the time I spend there. Indeed, policies make life easier in a lot of ways. Here are some of my other policies: I get off tech by 9:30. (I had to go public with this one for added accountability.) I pitch sweets that aren’t awesome. (If that donut isn’t terrific, is it really worth the calories?) I buy soft pretzels after church the first Sunday of the month. (This means no debate with the kids the other three weekends of the month.) I stop for kids’ lemonade stands. (This is probably my favorite policy.) Although some policies make life more difficult, I’ve found many personal policies make life easier because they take away the burden of having to make so many decisions. Decide - once - on what your policy is for certain situations, and then you’re all set. What policies can you create to make your life easier?

Since hearing about the concept of doing something kind for future you on a recent episode of Happier, one of my favorite podcasts, I’ve been mildly obsessed. Here’s the way the concept is described on Wil Wheaton’s blog: “Whenever you can, do something kind for Future You. Future You is someone you love and care about. Future You is someone who you want to be happy, and you have endless opportunities to make that happen.” On the podcast episode referencing this blog, Gretchen Rubin mentioned this strategy is particularly valuable for Obligers, people who typically meet external expectations but not always internal expectations. Although I’m not an Obliger, this future self concept has been very meaningful to me as well. Here are small ways I’ve been kind to my future self: Loading the dishwasher in the evening so my future self doesn’t come down the steps to a messy counter the next morning. Choosing the healthier entree over the fried seafood platter that was tempting me. (You’re welcome, future stomach!) Setting aside my workout clothes right next to my bed to decrease the amount of activation energy it takes to get myself to the fitness center 3 days a week. Making my bed every morning so I feel calm and together when I get home, no matter how crazy the day has been. Doing something right the first time, even if it takes a little longer, because then I won’t have to do it again. Getting to bed on time so I can get up more easily the next morning. “Be kind to your future self” has been repeated many times by several members of the Myers family. What positive changes could you make in your life if you set out to be kind to your future self?

I have historically been a hopeless procrastinator when it comes to doing my taxes, which is really frustrating because we typically have a refund coming our way. This year, I was determined to get our taxes done early and realized the best way to do this was to set myself up for success. Here’s how I did that: Purchased and downloaded the TurboTax software on January 1. Stated my intention to have my taxes done by February 15 to a friend I knew would hold me accountable - and provide encouragement if I needed it. Designated a folder in the kitchen where both my husband and I could put any tax paperwork that arrived in the mail. Set time in January to make sure all expenses and income were properly recorded for our small side businesses. (I really focused on good record-keeping throughout 2016 so this would go more easily than it did last year.) Set the stage for a successful afternoon of tax preparation in early February by making sure I had good music, all my paperwork, and a great attitude. I also warned the rest of my family not to interrupt me and committed to focus on only one thing at a time and to be patient if I had to wait for TurboTax updates. Although I told myself I only had to work on my taxes for an hour, I picked up momentum and could see the end was in sight, so I stayed with it another 20-30 minutes and was able to hit submit. Then it was just a matter of printing out the state taxes (because I didn’t want to pay the fee to submit them online) and completing our local taxes. I had everything in the mail on February 10. The best part about this was that because I didn’t procrastinate during any part of the process, the task energized me rather than draining me. And now I’ll have my refund about 2 months earlier than usual and can feel good about it every time I see an advertisement for tax preparation or hear others moan about their taxes. In this particular example, setting myself up for success meant breaking an overwhelming large task into several smaller tasks and then getting myself in the right frame of mind. How can you set yourself up for success on something that's been a stumbling block? It might mean setting dates for certain tasks well in advance, breaking tasks into smaller chunks, asking for help, getting all your materials together, or carving out time to do something. You’ve got this!

Sometimes my own stubbornness amazes me. I was in the restroom, with a purse and a briefcase, and after washing my hands, I figured I could just pull a paper towel out with one hand. Even though the image showed two hands pulling the paper towel with even strength, I figured I could one-hand it. So I did. And guess what? The paper towel tore. And then I tried again. And it tore again. When I grabbed it with both hands, it worked. Duh. Yet how often do I do this… blatantly ignore instructions and then get upset when I don’t get the result I want? More often than I care to admit. Perhaps you do this too. So today my advice for you is to follow the directions. Here are some ways you might do this: When a writer or speaker starts with “Please read carefully” or “Please listen carefully” it is probably because they are about to tell you how to avoid making mistakes countless others have made before you. Speaking from my own experience here. When you are headed out and your host gives you specific directions to avoid the detour and easily get where you’re going, resist the urge to just say, “I’ll use the GPS on my phone” because the app you use may not be aware of the detour the person was telling you about. Also speaking from my own experience here. When that small voice in your head tells you, "Look this up," listen to that voice rather than proceeding without help. Yep, you guessed it. I have experience with this one too. Of course, there are times when we can ignore the directions because we know exactly what we’re doing. But if things don’t turn out the way you think they will… remember it might just be because you aren’t following directions. And next time you are at this type of paper towel dispenser, remember to use both hands - the first time.

I'm one of those people who is very upset about the U.S. Presidential Election results and the events since the Inauguration.  On any given day, I'm worried, outraged, angry, scared and confused. But I'm also a wife, a mom, an executive leading a team for an HR consulting company, an entrepreneur and a relentless optimist. I can't wallow in sadness or frustration; I've got to keep on living. In so many times of stress I've learned that when I set some guidelines for myself, I can control my own happiness a bit better. So I'm working on a purposeful coping strategy to get me through the days and weeks (and months and years?) ahead: Limit my news diet. I want to be informed but not overwhelmed. I've changed the News settings on my phone and identified a few trusted sources. If my husband starts to fill me in, I set a time limit for how long I'm willing to listen, and then I insist we change the subject. Focus on ways I can have an impact. My daughter and I participated in a Women's March. For the first time ever, I've written to and left voicemails for our senators. I've joined a few postcard campaigns. I'm looking for ways to become involved in a more substantial way as well. If I'm not willing to do something, I don't have the right to complain. Stick to primary sources. Instead of relying on other people and news outlets to tell me how to feel about what our country's leaders say, I've reactivated my Twitter account so I can read the politicians' messages and decide for myself. And I'm engaging with people who see things differently so I can understand their perspective - instead of just judging it. Resist the urge to click on sarcastic or inflammatory posts. The sarcastic ones might provide a laugh but they are also a time suck, and the inflammatory posts drain whatever positivity I have left. Designate times when politics are completely off-limits. Being in worry-and-anger mode non-stop is not healthy. Yesterday we went to a movie - what a much-needed diversion that was! And when I'm at work, I'm focused on work, and doing my best to avoid political conversations. Developing coping strategies is helpful in all different types of stressful situations - a visit with your difficult in-laws (pour a fruity drink and imagine yourself on an island), an all-too-tempting buffet (load up on veggies), a dentist appointment (enjoy the chance to put your feet up and pretend you're at the spa), an aggravating job (schedule lunches with friends) - and being deliberate helps remind you that you're in charge of how you spend your time and energy. What types of coping strategies can you employ for stressful situations in your life?