Keep it to yourself
"That woman just ordered coffee with nine creamers!" one employee exclaimed to the other.
My eyes opened wide. Not because of the number of creamers (though that did feel excessive), but because I was shocked about an employee talking about a customer in front of another customer. It happens often, but it still surprises me, because it's just in such poor taste.
As my daughter and I discussed as we walked out of Dunkin' Donuts that morning, what if when we walked out, we recognized the woman in the drive thru and told her the employees were talking about her? What if we viewed her differently now that we knew she had a nine-creamers-in-her-coffee habit? What if she was ordering for someone else but we now had a false perception of her?
And perhaps the most important question is, why did any of us care at all? With everything we have to think about every day, why should how someone takes their coffee matter to us? I've written before about my goal to stop judging and it turns out keeping it to myself really helps. I'm less likely to judge if I won't let myself share my judgment with someone else.
I think back to a set of questions I heard years ago, and perhaps you have too. Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? If it's not all three of those things, it's probably a good idea to keep your mouth shut.
Photo by Bryan Burgos on Unsplash