Get over yourself

Still frustrated that your friend/client/prospect/pastor/neighbor didn't reply to that email you sent last month? Afraid to unsubscribe from a mailing list because the person you know from that company will get mad at you?Wondering whether people will judge you for wearing that exact same outfit on the same day of the week two weeks ago?

Get over yourself.

When I set out to write these Pep Talks, my intent was to inspire friends, family and others who subscribe along the way. After writing more than 80 posts, I realize now I write them for myself as much as I write them for you.

This "Get over yourself" Pep Talk is one I have to give myself several times a week. I have a tendency to be a bit self-righteous and self-absorbed sometimes. I'll send an email, receive a reply, sigh at the way the respondent clearly didn't answer my questions or  understand my point, only to realize upon rereading my initial email that I didn't actually ask the right questions or was unclear myself. It turns out the need for additional emails about it is my fault, not theirs. Huh. 

Or I'll send the email, not get a reply, and take it personally. The people I'm contacting at my day job likely get hundreds of emails a day. What I'm emailing them about (typically surveys or exit interviews) is a very tiny part of their job. They're never going to think about it as much as I do; that's why they outsource it! So what feels like a big deal to me is not that big a deal to them. Huh.

Recently I found myself sitting in church thinking about how I had volunteered to help coordinate an event there but no one ever followed up on the offer.  The event has come and gone. My offer was made months and months ago. And yet here I was stewing about it, feeling as if I had been slighted or rejected. Good grief! The person in charge had dozens if not hundreds of details to coordinate! She wasn't spending time actively choosing one volunteer over another or deciding I wasn't good enough! And besides, if I wanted to help so much, why didn't I just offer again? Huh.

In spite of scientific discoveries happening all the time, it turns out the Earth still revolves around the sun. Not around me. And not around you.

If you are upset someone didn't get back to you, reach out to them again. If you really think the company representative is going to be offended when you unsubscribe, have a response ready in case you get called out about it. ("Nothing personal - I'm working to reduce volume in my inbox" sounds like a good one to me.) If you are spending time with people who judge you for what you wear and when you wear it, hang out with different people. But it's much more likely no one is paying nearly as much attention to what you're wearing - or anything about you - as you think.

I'll be working on getting over myself. You're welcome to join me.

Photo by Jared Rice on Unsplash

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