Be clear about what you want

What mother tells her children that what she really wants for Mother's Day is to be by herself?

This one.

I had mentioned wanting time to read and nap in the days leading up to Mother's Day. Then on Saturday I explained my request in more detail to my husband and kids: "It's not that I don't want to be with you. It's that I want time to be with me." Like many people I know, I very rarely am alone, and even more rarely am I alone without a comprehensive to-do list. Mother's Day is the one day of the year that I drop the to-dos and let go of the need to take care of everyone else's needs. (Of course, I should probably do this more than once a year. Sounds like a topic for another post.) 

When we got home from church, I popped right back into my pajamas. I spent the afternoon reading, writing, listening to music, and napping. My family went to visit my mother-in-law, and when they got back, they still gave me some space and time. I felt fantastic after a few hours to myself. Then we had dinner and watched a movie together.

If I hadn't asked for this, I might have been given physical gifts I didn't really want. Or time together that wasn't what I was looking for. And I would have been frustrated they hadn't read my mind!

And if I hadn't stated my intent clearly for myself, I probably still would have been checking email, crossing a few things off the to-do list, and then resenting it.

Kudos to my family for abiding my request. Because - let's face it - there are times we state exactly what we want and we still don't get it. (Sounds like another topic to cover in another post!) 

In the meantime, be clear about what you want. For yourself and for others. 

Photo by Anna Demianenko on Unsplash

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